2015 Reflection/2016 Resolutions.

It’s 2016, a brand new year. Page 1 of 366 and all that. Honestly, I probably would’ve overlooked New Year’s Day if social media didn’t exist. Hah.

Usually I don’t make New Year’s resolutions but I figured, since I can never make myself set goals any other time of the year, I might as well take advantage of this New Year’s Day and set myself some goals. Realistic ones. (Even then, I’m not sure if I’d be able to achieve them.) But before that, I want to reflect on my 2015.

Let’s see. I graduated from national service, it was a great experience. I’ve made friends, survived without gadgets, and learned to love my country. I also tore my ankle ligaments but I try not to let that affect my overall opinion on national service.

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Early celebration of my birthday with my family at Kem PLKN Sri Mutiara.
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With Fang Hong and Celine, some of my best friends in national service.
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Cardboard kid.
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My birthday present (which is still hung on my wall) from my geng.
After Buddhism class (the only time we ever get to leave camp compound).
During dinner.
During the closing ceremony or something? I can’t remember haha.
With ‘lao da’.
Family portrait.
With Yati and Myra.
I used to have a crush on this jurulatih HAHA HOW EMBARRASSING!
With members of Company Charlie, also some of my close friends.
The day we graduated from national service :)

Then I had a surgery to mend my ligaments. I documented my 3 days of hospital stay here. In June, I started college (which costs a bomb and I think I messed up my first semester and also the first half of my CIE and I feel really guilty now ugh why am I such a shitty daughter to my parents), I documented parts of it here. College was… meh. Much better than secondary school (which basically just means that it requires less of my involvement and loyalty towards the college) but still, meh. After my AS exams, I went for driving lessons (which I’m still taking now) which turned out to be okay despite my anxiety-fueled sleepless nights. The instructor started to get impatient and frustrated on the 3rd lesson and kept yelling at me but really, I find it more hilarious than anything. It’s just that he seemed so mad at me and it wasn’t even my fault, not really, since I was still learning. I couldn’t do anything to make it better other than practice a million times and throughout the 3 hours I was practicing he was just yelling at me and not making a difference. The whole situation was so ridiculous that it became funny instead of irritating. HAHA.

And now here we are. 2016. I’m not really wishing for it to ‘be a good year’ for me. I don’t wish for stuff like that anymore, I believe it’s up to me to make it a good year. Wishing doesn’t make a difference. And so here are my 2016 resolutions:

1. Take better care of myself; health-wise and beauty-wise.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m allowed to identify as a ‘low-maintenance girl’ if the only reason I’m ‘low-maintenance’ is because I’m lazy as fuck. Seriously. I have tons of beauty products (my mum doesn’t believe in makeup, she says facial-care products are enough to beautify us) but I’ve always been too lazy to put them to use which explains why my face is such a disaster. Also, makeup. I did not grow up surrounded by makeup like most girls (my mum doesn’t use makeup) so of course I know nothing about putting on makeup. But I want to try it. The thing is, I’m not sure if my mum would be alright with me spending money on makeup. Oh well. I’ll find a way.

Health-wise, I want to eat healthier and exercise more. Listening to adults talking about their health problems scares me shitless. I mean, I already have an injured ankle, I don’t exactly have the time or effort to worry about other health complications like fatty liver or diabetes.

2. Take my studies seriously.

I’ve never really studied hard for exams throughout my primary and secondary school years. I’ve always studied last minute but somehow I’ve managed to get slightly higher than average results for my major exams, but I know that A-Levels is different. I need to buck up and start studying like my life depends on it (it actually does) if I want to achieve excellent results for my A-Levels. Did I also mention that A-Levels costs a bomb? I can’t afford to waste my parents’ money like that. (I need to get that through my thick skull.)

3. Write more.

I enjoy writing, not as much as reading, but enough. I love the sound of my fingers hitting the keys as I type. I love the size 12 words in the Times New Roman font materializing on the screen as I strike the keyboard. I love picking through my thoughts and turning them into paragraph after paragraph of words. But sometimes words don’t come easy and instead of pushing myself to write, I just let it be. Which explains my inconsistency in blogging. So in 2016, I’m going to write more.

4. Interact more.

I’m shit at building and maintaining relationships. I’ve always enjoyed silence and solitude, but it’s detrimental to my social life. I shut myself out of real life once I get to the safe cocoon that is my house. I refuse to participate in any unnecessary social interaction whatsoever. This year, I want to change that. I want to learn to maintain a relationship, maybe go on outings with my friends, bond with each other over lunch, stuff like that. (Ugh, it sounds painful already. But no. I need to do this.)

5. Save money.

I have a habit of splurging when I go out, mostly on food and books and I always end up without any savings come year end. So this year I’m going to save at least 25% of my monthly allowance. (But college food is so fucking expensive though so I might need to figure out some plan, maybe bring food from home or something.)

I think that’s all for now. I’m keeping it short because I want it to be realistic and for now, 5 is enough for me. I’m having a driving lesson tomorrow (let the ridiculous anxiety reign!) so I should probably sleep right now. Bye!



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